Saturday, 18 October 2014

The Graduation.

I had my graduation yesterday... Isn't it crazy how time flies?
Just looking back when I first started this blog.. I remember complaining about how rough the start of my JC journey is, and making promises to myself to turn my fate around with my A'level results. Well, that goal hasn't changed a bit, I've been working towards this goal faithfully these 2 years and I still am now. The only difference I would say is that now, I feel thankful. I still don't love the school and I am soooooo happy that this day has finally come, but I'm absolutely grateful for my class, my friends, my teachers and for God's plan through this journey. I had so much hate for the situation I was put into and I had so much doubt in myself, but turns out, everything worked out pretty well. My results have not been fantastic but I definitely improved. Looking back... I really learnt that I should just trust God with his plan and not worry too much. His plan for me these two years, whether it came to the class, the subject combinations I took, the teachers.. it all seems to be placed perfectly.

Right now, all I want to do is to give it my best shot.
Study without thinking about the consequences and to simply leave it in God's hands.
But also, to not lose sight of the dreams that I have from the start :)

Reality Check:
15 days 23 hours 08 minutes 15 seconds
to the big A's.




Friday, 3 October 2014

The final push.

Reality check: 
31 days 3 minutes 
to the big A's.

This is so surreal, I can't believe I survived close to 2 years worth of hardcore studying, it's finally coming to an end. But this 31 days are super crucial, they can make or break your results. I hope it'll be the former. This has been such a tough journey and I hope I bring all my effort and sacrifices justice and I hope that the A'levels can be a stepping stone for more successes in the future. I think I've experienced more failures than an average person of my age, so this time, I really hope to excel!

So I got back most of my results for the recent exam that I took. I wouldn't say that I did super badly cause I actually made improvements for some of my subjects, but I'm not happy with it because I believe I should be doing better. Anyway, after reflecting on my results and planning towards the big A's.. 

For these 31 days, i hope that I would
1. Get sufficient sleep and to stay healthy - I hope to get at least 6 hours of sleep everyday. 
2. To follow my study plan religiously.
3. To do a good 10 hours of studying everyday but to remember to relax at the end of everyday.
4. To be focus ( not worrying over the consequences and feeling stressed, but to just get on with doing the best that I can)
5. To be calm at all times ( Never get flustered)

This will probably be my last post before I go on full steam until the end of the big A's. 
Let's do this!!!!!





Sunday, 28 September 2014

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't.

I know that the title probably sounds super cliche, and you've probably seen a quote like this on tumblr thousands of times.. Yes me too. But omg, recently this quote really hit me cause someone actually did tell me straight to my face, saying that I can't. 

I've been stressing out a lot on the upcoming A'levels, I've also been losing a lot of motivation to study. 
Until a few days ago, when one of my classmate told me in my face, "To be honest, I don't think you'll be able get an A for math (which is my best subject so far)" This sentence just kept ringing my head.. Additionally, I just found out that this classmate has been a "closet mugger" of sorts, not those typical ones I know who simply wants to appear as if they can do really well without studying. This classmate of mine, has not only been secretly studying super hard without a hint of showing anyone about it, but this person has been keeping all the information that he knows to himself while the whole class has been super open about sharing and teaching one another. And this classmate is currently doing super well, while some of my other classmates who have been dilligently studying hard and doing well is doing not as well as him. I just find this really scary... But I guess this is life and reality, people do what they gotta do to be on top. 

But, I would have to say that because of what this classmate told me, I AM NOW FILLED WITH SO MUCH MOTIVATION. Success is the best revenge, and I would definitely love to do so well and prove everyone wrong. When I say everyone.. it's because it has not only been this classmate who has been having such judgements on me... Some of my teachers and parents.. They never really thought that I could do super well either. 

So...  I WILL. I'm gonna work my hardest to make sure that I prove all of these people wrong and I'm gonna prove that being scheming and selfish isn't the way to go!!!!

Another thing.. Zoella recently launched some beauty products :) 
I am super happy with all of her success. Being her viewer on youtube for so long, watching her talking to her webcam with long fringe in her bedroom, to gaining millions of subscribers, to making so many youtube friends all around the world, to moving out alone, to doing so many awesome stuff and now she has her own products!! It's really amazing because she's so humble and thankful for everything, and she's a much happier person right now I would say. I wish I could be like her, really! I wanna be able to make a drastic move in my life (such as moving out somewhere alone), be independent, have a job that I love and to just love life. 

All can only happen after the big A's. 
Let's do this. 
Reality check: 

35 days : 22 hours : 30 minutes : 50 seconds 

till the start of A's. 

Yes, let's do this. 





Wednesday, 17 September 2014

A break.

So today's sort of the end of my exam. Technically there's still one more paper left but it's a short paper and it's next week so I'm living life as if I'm done with my exams right now. Although there's still the real big A's coming up in 46 days, I'm gonna give myself a short break. Through this exam, I really feel sooo exhausted mentally, I'm already 200% done with studying. I really wana take these few days to divorce myself from studying, pack my room, eat, sleep and watch some movies. 

I can't believe some of my friends are going to start studying already!!! 
Man, I can't even take a break without guilty. But it's okay, I worked hard for so long, I deserve this!!!!
I'll definitely use this break to gear myself up for the final push of the year.
Get some strength, get some inspiration and the drive to pull through. 
I hope that all will go well. 


Thursday, 4 September 2014

SYTYCD 11 Finale

Time really flies, I can't believe sytycd 11 ended already!
This has really been a great season, with so many young and talented dancers. 
But for this year, it only took me till the finale to really appreciate the dancers this year. 
I don't know why, but I always feel that even though this season is great, it'll never beat the previous seasons. Until watching the finale and realizing that I've grown attach to watching the dancers this season.. I'm sure this is going to happen every season actually, this always happens. But this season is truly incredible. Every season has its own greatness, this season's dancers are just really versatile, fresh, young and super bonded. I'm so happy for all of them. 

Anyway, Ricky Ubeda is this year's winner!!!! 
Watching him win really hit me in the heart. Firstly, I got blown away right when I first saw his audition and I was praying that he will make it into the top 20 because I loved his dancing and his personality. Secondly, I've been faithfully watching every episode every week and it is sytycd that helps to get me by this really tough period of time for me (like is always does ever year), so watching him win really motivates me a lot right now because I get to witness how he reaped what he sowed in this journey. Thirdly, he is 18, the same age as me, watching him pursue his dream really makes me wanna work so much harder right now in this moment and to have the courage to pursue my dreams as well. Hopefully next year when my A'levels results are released, I'll get to go on stage and experience such a glorious moment as well. So much feels right now, and I think there'll be season 12 coming? I'm sooo excited. Sytycd is my favorite reality show ever. I hope they'll continue with this show forever!!!!!

Looking back at this season, here are my favorite routines.

For the group routines,

1. This week's broadway by Warren Carlyle

2. Top 7 girls routine by Mandy Moore

3. Mini group routine by Travis Wall

4. Top 4 group by Travis Wall

For contemporary,

1. Choreographed by Stacey Tookey danced by Ricky and Kathryn

2. Choreographed by Travis Wall danced by Jacque and Chehon

 3. Choreographed by Travis Wall danced by Emilio and Bridget

4. Choreographed by Stacey Tookey danced by Carly and Rudy

For Hip Hop,

1. Choreographed by Pharside and Phoenix danced by Zack and Ricky

2. Choreographed by Nappy Tabs danced by Emilio and Jasmine

3. Choreographed by Luther Brown danced by Carly and Serge

4.Choreographed by Phillip Chbeeb danced by Zack and Fik Shun

For jazz,

1. Choreographed by Ray Leeper danced by Rudy and Allison

2. Choreographed by Sonya Tayeh danced by Rudy and Tanisha

3. Choreographed by Sean Cheesman danced by Zack and Jacque

For broadway,

1. Choreographed by Warren Carlyle danced by Rudy and Tanisha

2. Choreographed by Spencer Liff danced by Jessica and Zack

3. Choreographed by Spencer Liff danced by Zack and Makenzie

For Ballroom,

1. Choreographed by Jean Marc danced by Carly and Serge

2. Choreographed by Jean Marc danced by Ricky and Anya

3. Choreographed by Miriam and Leonardo danced by Tanisha and Ryan

Others, 
I love all the tap routines!!!!!
(It's time for me to have dinner so I shan't take the time to post them)

Alright, yes, I'm really going to miss this season.
:)


Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Finding the strength again.

So my exams have started and I must say I'm getting a little exhausted, considering the fact that body is starting to tell me so cause I have headache plus runny nose. Anyway, something is really scaring me. 
Ever since I've created this blog, I've been rambling about how much I wanna do well, how much every exam means so much to me and I've been constantly trying to motivate myself. But somehow, a few days before the start of the exams, I just lost that stress along with my motivation to study with all the concentration and energy that I used to have. It's just gone. I don't know if it's a good thing, but it's just really weird cause I know that this is such a critical time in my life to make ALL my efforts the past two years worthwhile and I know how much I deserve to do well... I mean it's crazy how this thought of wanting to do well has consumed me for the past 2 years and it's just gone. It's like I lost my sense of direction. 

Well, but thank God I have a free day to study for my paper the day after... Cause I simply don't have the motivation to start studying. I'm trying to rekindle that kind of stress that I've been feeling these past two years, to really go full out like how I used to be. But for tonight I'm just gonna watch sytycd and head to bed and wake up early tomorrow. 

I pray to God to give me the strength, to focus on what I have to do for myself at this point in time, I know I deserve it and I know I can do it. I just need to find that strength in me that I know I have. 

Give it your all and have no regrets. 




Wednesday, 27 August 2014

No one is worth it.

Something has been bugging me recently... over the course of a few months which I tried to ignore but it finally hit me like right now. It's 3AM and I guess this when your deepest thoughts surface.

These past few days I've been ignoring all my friends, going out to study alone while everyone's studying in school together. And I feel like I want to escape from everyone, any human being. And I think it's because of how I'm starting to accept the fact that there's nothing called a true friend, everyone simply think for themselves. I'm drifting from so many friends after they found their boyfriends, I'm having  friends who bug me like nobody's business when they have no one and vanish right when they find someone else cooler and I'm having friends who have motives behind every questions they ask you. I simply act like I don't know and don't care...... Guys, please. 

I'm drifting from one of my closest friend ever, who I thought nothing could ever drift us until this year when I realized that I'm simply a substitute. She turns to me whenever she's alone and fades away whenever she's having a good time with her friends. She tells me all of her troubles and I listen, but to give her the credit, I express my troubles to her sometimes too. I don't know, I'm just disappointed because I thought I had a friend that would have my back anytime and that I could rely on and trust... 

I guess this is reality. 
I don't trust people anymore. 
(Unless something or someone can prove me wrong)

I'll just work hard for my own future, be independent and pursue what I love to do.
And GIVE NO SHITS ABOUT ANYONE.
(Not in a mean or selfish way, but to fight for my own happiness and not get affected by anyone's problems anymore.)