10 things I wanna do before I die

I was just watching Alfie's latest video and he did a video of 10 things he wanna do before he die. So I kinda wanna do it too.

1. Take chachi's class and also dance classes of many styles like contemporary, jazz, hip hop, tap dance, ballet and ballroom.

2. Audition for something huge like sytycd. 

3. Bungee jumping

4. Backpack travelling round the world

5. Fly to a third world country and help the people over there.

6. Go to a rock concert ( Haven't been to any, yes I have no life) and just get crazy.

7. Try loads of yummy food around the world.

8. Get my own tiny apartment, filled with lots of snacks, my laptop, a shelve of movies to watch, a huge closet for my clothes and a comfy bed.

9. Get the job that I love ( my dream- still on a long journey towards it)

10. Be an inspiration to people or maybe just someone.

I can't wait to see which one I'll get to strike off first.

Anyway, I'm so glad I finished watching Fringe S4 and S5. The entire show was amazing and complicated. Man, the writers are so good at this. Towards the end, everything became clear and all your doubts are answered and it really just leaves me in awe. I think I'll watch it again. This show speaks a lot about parallel universes, time travelling and science stuff, but it shows how love is invulnerable to anything. The love shared in the Fringe team was really touching. Olivia Dunham is really an inspiring female figure. She's upright and down to earth despite all her obstacles and I admire her focus in everything. She even talked Peter Bishop into taking off the tech that observers plant in the necks to take away their emotions for intelligence. And Walter was the ultimate sacrifice and that really touched me when he took the child observer's hand and walked into the black hole to travel to the future. Oh and September was amazing too. He was an observer but however he developed emotions and feelings and came up with a plan to defeat the other observers during their invasion and to protect his son the child observer who have both intelligence and emotions. At last, he was punished by returning back to a normal human. Man, he looks good too. Anyway what the hell  did I just typed. I got so excited. 

When your exams are over

I feel so happy. I was literally smiling to myself on my way to school because today's the last day of the exams. Even though I don't think I'll that well, okay probably really badly, but I'm glad it's over and I've tried my best. I know I'll probably have to study even harder during the June Holidays to catch up on whatever I'm weak in. But right now, it's really time to set aside studying for awhile, because I can feel myself getting sick of it. After a recharge, I'll come back even stronger than before and keep working hard!! I can do it :) 

I've made so many plans ahead! It's mainly food, shopping, movies, working out, and of course studying. Right now, I'm planning on finishing an unfinished business... That's my favorite FRINGE series! Season 4 and 5 here I come. Once again, I feel myself being freaked out by all these weird and creepy science stuff, once again, I feel like a smart pants, and once again, I find my secret ambition of being an FBI agent coming out. Haha silly me. 

Burden Lifted

My mid year examinations are pretty much over and the holidays are approaching soon, which sound pretty damn awesome. I really need a little tiny bit of break because I feel drained out. 

Like I'm...

But I'll definitely spend the holiday catching up on all those ridiculous amount of work that I have left not figured out yet. I need to master them and prepare for the incoming of knowledge that they will spam us with next term. Yes, this is the JC life. 

Anyway, I've been pretty happy these days. I think I've finally learnt to accept all of my flaws, because I figured that I can do nothing about it. I wanna be happy and achieve the greatest possible results ever. One thing I have to do, is to prove my parents wrong. That I can do it too. I wanna awe everyone with my results and then leave to follow my dreams like a boss. 

And so...  SYTYCD 10 STARTED!!! I can't watch it in my country though, I guess I'll wait for the end of year to catch it on youtube (provided if someone actually posts it up). But I'm so stoked to see the new talent and of course Emilio :) I wanna see Cat Deeley's motherly love and warmth! I love everything about the show. Omg, no I can't wait till the end of the year. I'll go figure out how to catch it online somehow. 

Alright, so I'm super tired and I'm gonna watch Fringe S4 and sleep,  A BIG BIG SLEEP THAT I DESERVE.

Friendships

They say those friendships that reached the 7 year mark will last a lifetime. But there's one that I have that hasn't reached it yet but I'm really sure it will last a lifetime. Today, I met my best friend after a really long time since we're in different schools and living our own life. But man, today was just like those old days, nothing has changed. We can talk about anything, listen to ghetto music, be weird together. I really hope for the best for her, and I hope we'll do well for A's together. I think we really deserve it. I thank God for her.

Anyway, school has been really tough. As usual. I don't get much sleep, everyday, I feel like I'm relying on adrenaline and probably a little caffeine. But man, I can see that school have sucked out the souls of us. But I guess this is life, you want it, you work for it. I wanna get to my dreams so badly. 

Sometimes, I really pity my classmates who are in JC without a goal. It's really hard to work hard and endure all this mental stress without knowing that there's something you want at the end of everything. 

I feel like this sums up my mind. 

So yeah, I've been loving the song "If I Lose Myself" by One Republic. Super addicted to the melody and the lyrics speak about my mind. In my case, it's applying to my dreams.. :)

Okay, gonna get some work done!

Got to keep going

As usual school has been pretty tough, and yeah I've been failing all of my tests. How depressing. But thank God it's not the exams. So the real exams are coming like really soon and I have to start bucking up and study. I've just been trying to complete my homework and I have absolutely no strength left to revise. But I guess I just gotta be stronger. Okay, I can do this!! I can't wait for Wednesday because it's labor day and I get to sleep in! Also, I'll have time to study and not just homework.

Recently, I've been really inspired by Tiffany Maher from sytycd s9.

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She's such a brilliant dancer. But what I really like about her is how she's so nice, sincere and hardworking. She doesn't think of beating anyone in the competition because they're all friends to her and she's really happy for Eliana and not one bit of her is feeling upset. But she really goes ALL OUT to do her best in all her performances. No complains or whatsoever. I really do admire her for this. She inspired me to work hard to get to where I wanna be but stay humble and sincere to people. 

Is it cool that ALL of the people I look up to are dancers? I don't know why, but I feel like I can see their soul when I see people dance. Sometimes, when I listen to some music, I can feel my soul dancing to it even without me moving. I simply dance so much, it's just too bad that my physical disabilities stop me from it. I don't know what to do. 

But right now, all I wanna do is to do well for my exams. I must say I'm pretty focused. 

This is one of the most beautiful quote ever. :) Letting go is really a hard thing to do. I'm still trying to.

Afraid

I've been really afraid these days. School has been really tough, and I'm really scared I won't be able to well for my exams. This time, the grades are really important to me. I'm really scared that I'll retain. Also, I'm really scared for some of my classmates. I can really see some of my classmates struggling hard in this JC system. I wanna help so badly, but how do I help if I can't even communicate with them. Their frequency of thinking is way beyond mine. Anyway, I just pray that they'll be strong and that things will be good for them. Most importantly, I hope they're happy because life is too short. One second of sadness, is one second of happiness you can't take back. Anyway, I thank God for everything. I thank God for my dream, it really helps me to keep going. I thank God for Chachi, she really inspires me. Sigh, but I hope I'll do well because I'm working hard. 

Anyway these 2 dance pieces are just simply inspiring.

Kyle Hanagami's choreography to "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran.

Ian Eastwood's choreography to "Little Things" by One Direction. 

These 2 amazing pieces really touched my heart deeply, it truly is art and it's simply why I love to dance. And dance is simply why I live. And dance is created by God. 

Envious

Envious of so many people in so many ways. Envious of people who get to dance, who are smart, who are good looking, who simply have such a nice personality that people love being around. I don't own any of those qualities sadly. To be honest, I'm envious of people who are rich. I don't even ask to be rich, I just wanna use that bit of money to help me follow my dreams and after that, I wouldn't mind being poor. 

Have been feeling pretty down lately, feeling inferior in so many ways. I'm working so hard for my studies but I haven't seen my results. I can feel myself burning out.. School's been pretty tough, I can also feel my classmates struggling. And I wish I could be of some help.

Whatever happens, I'll trust in God. I can't give up!

Anyway, I can't wait for sytycd 10. Partly because Emilio will be in it. But the pieces choreographed for the show are so beautiful, I tear watching it. It's so good. Man, I wish I could dance like that. 

One of my favorite piece.

So very thankful for IaMmE's existence. I don't know why, every time I watch their abdc moments, and think about how successful they are now, I'll really be inspired, motivated and energized. Love them so much. 

Okay, back to work!