Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Terrifying job.

Hey there, it's been long. 
I've been working a lot, I almost have no life. 

So, I've just been transferred into a new work place, 
a new branch of the same shop, to be specific. 
And I've been appointed to take on the role of a cashier.
It's not like your ordinary cashier job in the super market or 
customer service.
It's a telecommunication business.

This means that I'll have to have a good knowledge
of regarding mobile plans, tv plans, broadband plans, prepaid plans, the billing of services
and most importantly, I have to be super careful with the money.
And this terrifies the shit out of me. 
I'm so new that I still find it a struggle to give customers any decent advice
and also the amount of money being handled is so much I can't afford to make 
any mistakes like literally, because I will not be able to afford the compensation.

Every night, whenever I do the closing, I always do it in fear.
It's kind of like a report card to me, cause it reflects how well
I fare doing the job for the day, just that the consequence of not 
doing well is forking out my own money to pay for my mistakes.

And today, I had to pay 7 bucks.
I'm just thankful it's 7 bucks, I can't imagine 
it being a huge sum. But this is a great reminder to me, 
to be extra careful with every transaction made
 and to get enough rest the night before.
I'm honestly so exhausted everyday cause I work for about 
12 hours a day, and the travelling takes another 2 hours.

Okay, enough of the bad stuff about my work.
I'll share some of the great things about it.

I kind of enjoy my new work place.
The people there are friendly and nice... 
And I feel like I'm a part of it now that I've 
officially been added into the whatsapp group.
It does feel pretty cool.
Secondly, I feel like it's a great training ground to 
be vocal and firm in myself cause you can't handle nasty customers
if you're weak on your own.

Well, that's it. 
For the most part, it is terrifying and I take it very seriously.
I just hope that something like this will never happen again and
that I'll get better at my job soon.

Till next time.

Monday, 9 February 2015

A tough February.

Just received the worst news ever.
I would be sent to another branch due to their shortage of manpower.
I just started getting the hang of my job.
Now I'm being taken away, and sent to a whole new work place.
As if things can't any scarier,
I've heard countless of stories about how hard it is to
work at that place,
which is already enough to scare the hell out of me.

I'm not ready for this.
I can't believe I'll be there for the rest of the month.
I don't even know if I should trust them when they say
that it's only going to be till the end of the month.

It's probably because I'm weak and that I'm
really bad when it comes to going out of my comfort zone.
I mean, I'm trying to, but I thought this process would
be a lot slower and less intimidating.

But no matter what, I will not quit until April.
I will persevere.
I hope that I can make the best out of this bad 
situation, and I hope that I have the strength, wisdom
and courage to get through this.

May God help me through February 2015. 


Lumi- Ashestoangels 
Submitted by: toast-the-ghosts-of-you-and-me

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Dreams money can buy.

They say money can't buy happiness,
but I'm pretty sure in my case, money can. 

Ever since young I've always appreciated the arts,
whether it's dance, music, films, tv shows, literature or visual arts.
And I know for sure that I would pursue a career with something 
along this line. Dating back to 2 years ago, I started giving more 
thought about what I wanted to do with my life and soon enough,
I realized that pursuing my dream will not be possible in the place
I live in. Thus, I started to work towards moving out.

I chose the path of the A'levels instead of the diplomas, because in
my country, it would be the fastest option to get into a university.
And I thought that I can use this opportunity, to move out and get
started concretely on working towards my dream in the place
which opens more doors for my desired career.

And I used this goal, to motivate myself through the A'levels.
I studied the hardest I've ever studied, I sacrificed so much for this.
And now that the A'levels is over and it's time for me to start planning 
to find the most suitable university... 
It turns out, that fees would be a problem. 
My parents may have to fork out a large sum in order to turn this into a 
reality (unless I do really well for the A'levels, which would be a miracle,
I can try getting a scholarship and everything would work out
fine). Now, I'm stuck between wanting to pursue my dreams, and the guilt
of having my parents to pay such a large sum of money for me.. 

In this case, everything is planned out.. 
I've planned each step so clearly, and the only thing missing
from this perfect plan, is the money.
Times like this, I just hope that a pile of money can just
fall from the sky.

Money can buy happiness, 
so long as you don't equate the amount of wealth you have 
to your happiness. 

Talking about money,  I just earned my first pay!
It's really exciting because I know for sure the money
didn't come easy. This job is pretty tough... Tough enough
for my whole family and almost all of my friends to tell me to quit. 
Well, but I decided not to because it just doesn't seem right to quit 
because it's hard. I shall stick to the plan in my previous post!

Okay, I'm tired and I have work tomorrow. 
Off to watch my favorite tv show of all time: Fringe.
(Hah, yeah I'm watching Fringe again)

Friday, 30 January 2015

Embracing my introvert self.

I used to hate the fact that I'm an introvert,
always wondering why I don't ever belong into any group,
or if I'll ever be able to be as sociable as others.

But as I'm about to enter the adult world,
I'm starting to see the perks of being an introvert.
In today's world, we never know who's real and who's not, 
or who actually bothers to listen to what you have to say.
And by being an introvert, I'm used to keeping things to myself 
and finding other ways to express myself. 
And in that, I can actually save myself the trouble of experiencing 
the disappointments caused by others (which I believe will definitely happen, 
because all humans disappoint).
I find the most comfort and I express with greatest ease whenever
I'm alone. And that's okay.

Right now, all I want to do is to embrace my own personality,
focus on working hard, try my best at everything that I do and pursue the 
things that matter to me the most. 
People who matter will stay and those who don't will eventually 
go away.

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

The work life so far.

It's been a week since I started my work life. 
But it feels like it's been a month. 
I'd admit, the work life isn't easy at all. 

Well, as if being new to the job wasn't difficult enough,
(Having to learn everything from scratch, applying everything taught immediately 
with no whatsoever training provided)
I have to face scary customers everyday.
I honestly feel like I go to work with fear everyday.
Yes, I'm a pussy like that. 

There were so many moments where I felt like quitting because 
I actually can, and even my parents asked me to because
the job is taking way too much time out of me and I can't
carry out my post A's plans that I had before A's even happened. 

But, I didn't.
One of the main reasons why I didn't, is because of the nice colleagues and managers 
that I have in this job. They're not only patient with me but extremely funny as well.
Also, I feel like I shouldn't be a quitter. I should perservere till the end.
And if I manage to master this set of skills, it'd be quite an accomplishment. 

One thing for sure though, I'd be quitting slightly earlier than the date stated 
in my ( 6 months) contract
because I feel like I need the time to carry out my post A's plans 
and my university matters. 

Now, this is the tricky part. My manager told me that a normal person
takes at least 6 months to master the majority of the skills 
needed in this job. 
So here's what I intend to do. 
I intend to conquer all odds, and try learning the 
"majority" of the skills needed in 2 months and 
at least try to be of great service for the people who hired me
for the next 2/2.5 months
before I tender my resignation. 

How does that sound? 
Well, I kind of have to make this happen.
All I can do right now is to 
work hard everyday and not give up. 
Seems like there's no such thing as an obstacle-free 
life huh? 

I GOT THIS (.....)

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

The first day of my first job.

This is a post I feel like I need to make just because I think it has been a super memorable day and that my future self would really enjoy looking back at this. 

For starters, my  part time job is along the line of providing customer service in the telecommunication industry. The sound of it already scared me to death, for I know that I'm socially awkward (absolutely incapable of interacting with new people and not to mention dealing with problematic customers) and that I have close to no idea what telecommunication is all about other than the devices that I use and the internet.

So I reported to work obediently on time, and I met my colleague and my manager. I've got to say that I'm really thankful that my colleagues are nice, funny and patient people. They tried to teach me everything they could, answered all of my questions and they even started joking around with me (which really helped because it kind of made me less awkward). Well, everything is nice so far. Let's just wait and see how they'll be like as weeks pass. 

But the things I had to be able to do really terrified the shit out of me. 
Who knew that phone plans, tv plans, internet broadbands and all that jazz were so complicated? I have to be able know everything about the plans and the different options people could make within the different plans at my fingertips because the customers may sometimes confuse you and you have to be able to stand strong on your ground and explain the details to them. And if you forget to mention any important details, you might get a complain. I have to be able memorize the different procedures of entering the data into different computer systems whenever people purchase something or do anything to whatever plans they have because any slip up can cause me penalties. I have to be able to be super careful in stock counting cause once again any slip ups can cause me penalties. I have to be able to multi task and handle stress cause there'll be a ton of people waiting for my service. 


Interview May 2009 - Kasia Struss.

I guess I should be able to absorb the new information... 
I'm just really terrified of the customers. 
I don't know if I'll be able to be of service.
I suppose this is a good training for me to step up my confidence and to stand strong on my own.
Crossing my fingers that things will not go awfully out of hand. 

I'm overwhelmed indeed. 
My brain is fried from all the new information.
My legs are sore from all the standing. 
It's gonna be a tough few months. 
But let's do this. 
It's something I have to conquer and let's nail this shit. 
Werk it. 

Saturday, 10 January 2015

I may or may not have anxiety issues.

I don't know why.
But right now I'm just afraid of so many things. 
My heart beats super quickly and my lungs seem to fail me whenever I face the need to interact with new people or do something new.... And also at the thought of adulthood. 
I just want to lie in bed and use the internet or sleep. 
I feel safe in there, which I know that it's simply an escape that leads to nowhere. 
That's why I'm forcing myself to try out as many new things as possible.
I went overseas with my friend, I found a new job (I'm currently freaking out at the thought of my first day of work) and more. 
But I really hate how I go onto thinking about all the possible things that could go wrong 
and how it'll follow a physical reaction of me being out of breath and having my heart beat so quickly. 
It's so hard.

I absolutely hate myself for that. 
I feel like it prevents me from being myself or performing to my fullest potential.
I want to be able to go out to the world and pursue my dreams. 
But I don't know how any of it will work out if I continue being so terrified of everything. 

And these few days, the sudden realization of being an adult is scaring the crap out of me.
The world suddenly feels so dangerous. 
I feel like I won't be able to handle interacting with the people out there. 
How are people so capable? 
How do people handle all these adult stuff so well?
How do adults be adults?
I didn't even know entering adulthood would scare me to this extent. 
I wish I wasn't born into this world to have to go through this. 

But one thing I know for sure, that this is a process I have to face myself. 
This is something I have to get used to. 
I know that I should, but I just don't know how. 
Not with me being so anxious about everything.