Friday, 9 October 2015

Taking chances.

Hi there, I'm having a one week break from school. 
And today's the last weekday of the week, which means to say 
that my one week break is coming to an end. 

It's really sad. But I'm just super thankful for this week.
I got to catch up on some sleep and even had the chance to
watch some episodes of The Office. 
This show is really growing on me, I'm starting to love all 
of the characters. 

So anyway, once this break is over, things are gonna be extra 
extra tough. The number of assignments due and tests coming up
are crazy.. I tried my best to come up with a plan, to spread the workload
out evenly through the next 2 months. I hope that'll help. 

Apart from the academic area, I have lots of 
school actitivites coming up... 
I signed up for an overseas community service trip. 
I just went for the interview, so I'm not sure if I'm selected yet. 
Also, I'll be having quite a number of dance performances coming up,
which I hope I get to be  a part of. 
That's pretty much it. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it really is. 

It's a little scary how busy and hectic life will get. 
But I'm glad I'm taking all these opportunities cause 
to me, univerisity life should be so much more than the academics itself.

I just hope I'll strike a balance and I'm just gonna 
give everything I got in whatever opportunities I have.
I'll see where that takes me. 

Yes, that's it for now.
I'm gonna head back to my assignments now. 

Thursday, 24 September 2015

Crazy life.

Hi there, I finally have the time to sit back and relax for awhile.
But not for long, because I have a ton of assignments to complete.

For the past few weeks, I've been getting 3 to 4 hours of 
sleep every night. Nothing more. After weeks of insufficient 
sleep, I don't even feel real anymore. 

As of now, I have dance practices 4 times a week 
because we are rehearsing for an upcoming performance.
Practices are at night, and I happen to have 
quite a few morning classes. Many assignments and 
projects are piling up. So that explains it....
I'm just really glad I survived these really 
tough few weeks. I'll have the next few days
to rest and catch up with my studies. 

A few more tough weeks to go before 
it goes back to being normal! 
It's gonna be all worth it after the performance.
I just need to stay strong!

University life has been hectic as hell.
Trying to study and dance is definitely not
easy. But I can do this!

All I wanna do right now, is to do my very best
and not stress out. I'm just taking
things week by week. Doing things one at a time. 

Also, sytycd 12 is over!!!!
Gaby Diaz from team stage won and I'm really glad.
I love watching her dance and I love 
everything about her. 
I joined my school's contemporary dance instead
of the hip hop dance cause I was really inspired
by the dances from team stage... 
So I'm really glad that team stage won :)

Anyway, I had such a great day of rest today. 
It was a much needed break. 
I got to meet my childhood buddy. We caught up
and chatted for hours about our university lives.
We caught Everest and The Maze Runner.
Both movies were really great :)

Alright, back to the books and assignments.

Saturday, 12 September 2015

The worst 2 weeks of my life

I just had the worst 2 weeks of my life.
And I know that things are only gonna get so much harder.
So before everything comes, I'm gonna take the time to write
this, just for memory sake. Cause it's one to rmb.

Last Monday, I was down with flu, fever, body ache, sore throat and runny nose.
It was such a bad start to the week.
I slept for 12 hours straight and the fever went away.
On Tuesday, I had my flu and sore throat still.
And comes Wednesday, where I lost my voice and my phone.
On Thursday, I was phone-less the entire day, while still being sick.
(I have to mention that a kind soul picked up my phone, kept it safe,
charged it and returned it to me the next day. I'm just really thankful
 to that person.)
Friday, Saturday and Sunday was simply me being sick while struggling 
to complete my assignments.

And on to this week.
I had the worst cough I ever had for the entire week.
I have never coughed so much and so hard in my entire life.
It really felt terrible.

Finally, it's now the weekends.
My cough is recovering and that's all that I really want at this point.

Assignments and projects are piling up....
Lots to be done and lots to be studied.
This is kinda overwhelming to me.
I'm just trying to survive each week as it comes,
and complete my tasks one at a time.
Trying not to stress out or panic.
Not gonna lie, I'm feeling sooo exhausted.
Everything is happening way too quickly.

I can do this. 
Gotta stay positive always!!!! 

I'm just really glad that I pulled through these 2 weeks...
2 really really hard weeks.

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

My university struggle so far.

I started my first week of university education
last week. And I'm at my second week of school now. 
Wow. I still can't believe I'm here. 

My first week of school went by okay.
It's definitely different from the A'level days.
I found myself to be alone very often, which is okay to me
because I do enjoy being alone and doing my own stuff. 

My only struggle though, 
is having to talk in class.
To me, the assignments, projects and readings are fine.
If I'm ever assigned any task, I would complete it
to my best ability no matter how hard or how long it takes. 
But talking.... 

One thing about my school is that, class participation 
plays a pretty huge part to your grades.
I guess it's great cause it forces you to speak up
and the ability to communicate your ideas 
effectively is a good skill to have.
But, oh gosh, it's a great obstacle for me.

My anxiety not only includes social anxiety, it includes
the anxiety that comes whenever I have to speak in front
of group exceeding 7 people. I have escaped this
problem all my education life. But there is no running
away from this now. 

Today, the pressures of class participation 
just blew up in my face. I had an anxiety attack
in class, it wasn't huge, but it's enough to ruin my
entire day. I don't know explain the feeling,
but it just leaves a weird lingering feeling that kind of
drains you emotionally and physically.

Thus, I decided to take the time off to blog
instead of going back to my assignments. 

This is definitely one of the biggest obstacles I
have ever faced. And I know that if I can conquer this,
I'd be a whole better, more confident person. 

Right now, I'm just trying to accept my fear
and stay positive. I guess I shouldn't think about the grades,
or the judgements or whatever, I should just 
treat it as a great learning opportunity.

I'm trying to take small baby steps.
Last week, I didn't participate in class at all.
Today, I answered a question that my teacher gave me.
In future, I hope to have the guts to raise up my hand and 
express my opinions and increase it continually.

All I need, is that insane 1 second of courage....
To have the guts to raise up my hand. 
That's all that I need.

I hope that things get better soon.
God bless me. 

Friday, 14 August 2015

Being brave.

I've been so busy with pre-university school activities.
And I know I'll be even busier when school starts. 
So before the school craziness officially starts.. 
I wanna reflect back on the past month of  my pre-university experience.

Camps started out to be terrifying for me... 
Cause social anxiety.
But it got better as time passed. 
My last 2 camps felt amazing. I just wasn't afraid anymore.
I felt like I could really be myself and my group members
appreciated my sense of humor and the awkward person that I am.
Well, either I got lucky with the last 2 groups, or I was 
really growing in terms of my social skills.

But all in all, I feel really really blessed to have been in all the groups
that I've placed in, with the 4 camps that I've been to.
Not everyone is blessed enough to have really tight and bonded groups, 
but somehow I feel like all 4 of my groups are extremely bonded.
And for that, I thank God.

University life is about to get real just next week!!!
It's gonna be one hell of a ride. 
This weeked is gonna be the last weekend of my 8 month long break from school.
It's crazy how time flies.
Just last year, I was stuck with my A'levels, studying all day everyday till it drove me nuts.
Now, I survived the A'levels, had the time of life during my 8 month break and
here I am about to embrace the next challenge or chapter of my life. 

In the next 4 years of my life, I will try to...
1. Be a braver person - to have that confidence to speak up and share a part of myself with others.
2. Be a hardworker - to put in my best effort in whatever I do.
3. Be a great life balancer - Study hard, play hard.
4. Be a kind person - Even if things get competitive and people can be real bitches at times.
5. Be a better dancer - follow my passion and share them with everyone.
6. Be an independent person - cause you only have yourself at the end of the day.
7. Be true to myself amidst all the buzz in school - To know my own personal goals and not stray from them.
8. Be a better version of myself- to experience growth as a person. 


Image via We Heart It #fashion #important #life #quote #streetfashion #streetstyle #streetstyle #text #wisewords #ownit

Yup, this is it. 

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Sometimes, the best things come unexpected.

Sometimes, you meet a group of people and y'all just click.
(even if you have social anxiety) 

I went for my third university orientation camp last weekend. 
I dreaded this camp so badly because it was a camp for 
the international students and I felt that I wouldn't be able 
to get along with my group mates, and end up not enjoying the camp.
But, it turned out to be the best group I've ever been in. 

They accepted my quiet nature and they totally
get my humor (I think), they laughed a lot at the things I had to say.
Maybe it's because it's a camp for the international students and everyone
in the group is so different, that being different becomes normal.
Anyway, I felt like I could be myself and this was a group that
I opened up myself the most to (not fully yet but it'll come).

The 3 days of camp was simply felt with love, laughter and fun. 

It occured to me during the camp though, how ironic it is to be in this camp.
1. If I were to have left for the overseas university I initially planned on going,
I would've been in the position just like the international students.
2. The camp that I dreaded the most, ended up being the best one I've been to so far.

Anyway, my class time table is out. 
I'm so blessed to have gotten the modules and class slots that I want.
But this means that school's starting soon...
And I am so scared ):

I shall enjoy the last few weeks of freedom. 
One last camp to go for before everything officially starts.

Friday, 24 July 2015

Best vacation ever.

It has been over 6 months since the A'levels ended,
and I can't believe this vacation is about to be over
I'll be heading back to school in less than a month. 
This holiday has truly been the longest and best one ever. 
I've had the time to accomplish so many things and to also
simply spend my time chilling at home.

I went on a holiday to my friend's hometown, I got my 
first ever job, I took my very first ballet/contemporary/hip hop class,
I had the time of my life with my friends, I chilled at home and watched
many many movies and tv shows. 
Some highlights of these experiences include, getting to meet new people,
being picked by the dance instructor to be one of the students who get featured on
her instagram, and watching all 10 seasons of Friends!

I've learnt so much about myself as well.
I've learnt the art of being alone and it feels AMAZING. 
You don't have to give in to anyone, or be obliged to do anything.
It's all in your control. And through that, I learnt to embrace my 
introvert personality. 

One thing I realized though, is how bad my social
anxiety is. I always knew that I had anxiety, but I didn't expect social
anxiety to be part of the package.
I've been to 2 orientation camps for my university so far,
and in both camps, I just found it really hard to open myself up to 
a whole new group of people. 

Having to introduce myself to a group of people literally
makes me tremble and when I do that, my voice gets really shaky. 
Deep down, I know that the people are really nice, 
but I can't really control it. 
I'll be super quiet and awkward, and omg, 
one on one conversations are the worst. 
In those moments, I really found it quite a challenge to just be myself, 
I really want to just melt into the ground and disappear.
It's crazy to me how people are able to shed their personalities so quickly
during these camps... I wish I could do that, you know?

I know I have to overcome this.. 
Cause no matter what, I'm still a social being. 
I love my introvert self, but I don't want my social
anxiety to handicap me from interacting with others 
and from potentially opening new doors in my life. 
How can I make an impact on the world, 
if I don't even have to courage to shed my personality 
and give a part of myself to others?

Anyway, I came up with some reminders to myself.. 
I hope it'll help me in future. 

1. Focus on the beneath. Ignore the superficial things about people such as their looks,
their popularity, their grades or their wealth... 
Just remember that deep down, we are all the same - humans. 
There's nothing to be afraid of.

2. People are not out there to judge you. 
They probably don't even care.

3. Share some of your light, bring some kindness to the world and the people around you 
by being yourself.

4. Giving compliments helps.

5. Ask more questions about people. It's great because you won't have to talk about
yourself, it's better than awkward silences and you get to learn more about others.

I have another 2 orientation camps coming up, 
hope it'll be better than the previous 2. 

Anyway, so what am I up to now that the vacation is about to end?
I'm watching "The Office", it's hilarious.
I'm watching SYTYCD 12, I love the new format of the show and
the talent on this season so far is amazing!!!!
I'm spending some time to research on how my university works.
I've been hanging out with some friends. (both old and my new university friends)

Yup, nothing fancy. 
I'm so gonna miss this vacation ):
Gotta enjoy it to the fullest.

I'll end of by posting some of my favorite routines on SYTYCD 12 so far.

Top 20 week 1 Team Street performance.
This routine by nappytabs was so great and powerful. 
All the dancers had so much charisma!!!


Top 20 week 1 Team stage performance by Hailee, Marissa and Alexia.
This routine by Brian Friedman was the bomb.
 The girls were sexy and powerful.
Props to them for dancing in those killer heels.

Top 20 week 1 Team stage performance by Jim and Darion choreographed by
Benoit Swan Pouffer. This routine was tough!!!! I felt like dying just watching it.
Mad respect for them for pulling it off so wonderfully.

Top 20 week 2 Team Stage performance by Travis Wall.
Loved this piece so much, the transitions and how well the choreography
matched the song. They were strong and I could definitely feel the team spirit.

Top 20 week 2 by Jim and Jaja.
This routine was just so sweet to watch. Jaja's facial expressions were everything
and Jim looked great doing hip hop :)

10th year anniversary performance by the all stars choreographed by Travis Wall.
Everything was so magical. The stage made it extra perfect and it took my breath away.
This dance just brought back lots of past SYTYCD memories for me. 

I'm excited to watch the rest of the season :)
Also, I'm so pumped for ABDC 8!!!!!!

A great year for dance indeed. 
Alright, that's it, I'm out.