Wednesday, 17 September 2014

A break.

So today's sort of the end of my exam. Technically there's still one more paper left but it's a short paper and it's next week so I'm living life as if I'm done with my exams right now. Although there's still the real big A's coming up in 46 days, I'm gonna give myself a short break. Through this exam, I really feel sooo exhausted mentally, I'm already 200% done with studying. I really wana take these few days to divorce myself from studying, pack my room, eat, sleep and watch some movies. 

I can't believe some of my friends are going to start studying already!!! 
Man, I can't even take a break without guilty. But it's okay, I worked hard for so long, I deserve this!!!!
I'll definitely use this break to gear myself up for the final push of the year.
Get some strength, get some inspiration and the drive to pull through. 
I hope that all will go well. 

Thursday, 4 September 2014

SYTYCD 11 Finale

Time really flies, I can't believe sytycd 11 ended already!
This has really been a great season, with so many young and talented dancers. 
But for this year, it only took me till the finale to really appreciate the dancers this year. 
I don't know why, but I always feel that even though this season is great, it'll never beat the previous seasons. Until watching the finale and realizing that I've grown attach to watching the dancers this season.. I'm sure this is going to happen every season actually, this always happens. But this season is truly incredible. Every season has its own greatness, this season's dancers are just really versatile, fresh, young and super bonded. I'm so happy for all of them. 

Anyway, Ricky Ubeda is this year's winner!!!! 
Watching him win really hit me in the heart. Firstly, I got blown away right when I first saw his audition and I was praying that he will make it into the top 20 because I loved his dancing and his personality. Secondly, I've been faithfully watching every episode every week and it is sytycd that helps to get me by this really tough period of time for me (like is always does ever year), so watching him win really motivates me a lot right now because I get to witness how he reaped what he sowed in this journey. Thirdly, he is 18, the same age as me, watching him pursue his dream really makes me wanna work so much harder right now in this moment and to have the courage to pursue my dreams as well. Hopefully next year when my A'levels results are released, I'll get to go on stage and experience such a glorious moment as well. So much feels right now, and I think there'll be season 12 coming? I'm sooo excited. Sytycd is my favorite reality show ever. I hope they'll continue with this show forever!!!!!

Looking back at this season, here are my favorite routines.

For the group routines,

1. This week's broadway by Warren Carlyle

2. Top 7 girls routine by Mandy Moore

3. Mini group routine by Travis Wall

4. Top 4 group by Travis Wall

For contemporary,

1. Choreographed by Stacey Tookey danced by Ricky and Kathryn

2. Choreographed by Travis Wall danced by Jacque and Chehon

 3. Choreographed by Travis Wall danced by Emilio and Bridget

4. Choreographed by Stacey Tookey danced by Carly and Rudy

For Hip Hop,

1. Choreographed by Pharside and Phoenix danced by Zack and Ricky

2. Choreographed by Nappy Tabs danced by Emilio and Jasmine

3. Choreographed by Luther Brown danced by Carly and Serge

4.Choreographed by Phillip Chbeeb danced by Zack and Fik Shun

For jazz,

1. Choreographed by Ray Leeper danced by Rudy and Allison

2. Choreographed by Sonya Tayeh danced by Rudy and Tanisha

3. Choreographed by Sean Cheesman danced by Zack and Jacque

For broadway,

1. Choreographed by Warren Carlyle danced by Rudy and Tanisha

2. Choreographed by Spencer Liff danced by Jessica and Zack

3. Choreographed by Spencer Liff danced by Zack and Makenzie

For Ballroom,

1. Choreographed by Jean Marc danced by Carly and Serge

2. Choreographed by Jean Marc danced by Ricky and Anya

3. Choreographed by Miriam and Leonardo danced by Tanisha and Ryan

I love all the tap routines!!!!!
(It's time for me to have dinner so I shan't take the time to post them)

Alright, yes, I'm really going to miss this season.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Finding the strength again.

So my exams have started and I must say I'm getting a little exhausted, considering the fact that body is starting to tell me so cause I have headache plus runny nose. Anyway, something is really scaring me. 
Ever since I've created this blog, I've been rambling about how much I wanna do well, how much every exam means so much to me and I've been constantly trying to motivate myself. But somehow, a few days before the start of the exams, I just lost that stress along with my motivation to study with all the concentration and energy that I used to have. It's just gone. I don't know if it's a good thing, but it's just really weird cause I know that this is such a critical time in my life to make ALL my efforts the past two years worthwhile and I know how much I deserve to do well... I mean it's crazy how this thought of wanting to do well has consumed me for the past 2 years and it's just gone. It's like I lost my sense of direction. 

Well, but thank God I have a free day to study for my paper the day after... Cause I simply don't have the motivation to start studying. I'm trying to rekindle that kind of stress that I've been feeling these past two years, to really go full out like how I used to be. But for tonight I'm just gonna watch sytycd and head to bed and wake up early tomorrow. 

I pray to God to give me the strength, to focus on what I have to do for myself at this point in time, I know I deserve it and I know I can do it. I just need to find that strength in me that I know I have. 

Give it your all and have no regrets. 

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

No one is worth it.

Something has been bugging me recently... over the course of a few months which I tried to ignore but it finally hit me like right now. It's 3AM and I guess this when your deepest thoughts surface.

These past few days I've been ignoring all my friends, going out to study alone while everyone's studying in school together. And I feel like I want to escape from everyone, any human being. And I think it's because of how I'm starting to accept the fact that there's nothing called a true friend, everyone simply think for themselves. I'm drifting from so many friends after they found their boyfriends, I'm having  friends who bug me like nobody's business when they have no one and vanish right when they find someone else cooler and I'm having friends who have motives behind every questions they ask you. I simply act like I don't know and don't care...... Guys, please. 

I'm drifting from one of my closest friend ever, who I thought nothing could ever drift us until this year when I realized that I'm simply a substitute. She turns to me whenever she's alone and fades away whenever she's having a good time with her friends. She tells me all of her troubles and I listen, but to give her the credit, I express my troubles to her sometimes too. I don't know, I'm just disappointed because I thought I had a friend that would have my back anytime and that I could rely on and trust... 

I guess this is reality. 
I don't trust people anymore. 
(Unless something or someone can prove me wrong)

I'll just work hard for my own future, be independent and pursue what I love to do.
(Not in a mean or selfish way, but to fight for my own happiness and not get affected by anyone's problems anymore.)

Sunday, 17 August 2014

It'll be over soon.

Everything's going by so fast now.. It's really crazy.
This has by far, been the craziest term of my entire education life. 
Literally just trying to balance between the crazy amount of homework 
and trying to study for the upcoming exam.

Well, I have to say I haven't been studying to my fullest potential recently.
I've been doing my homework on time but I haven't been revising even though I have the time.
I don't why, I just get really distracted and I procrastinate?
This happens whenever I'm stressed.. or I'm scared of something... 
I procrastinate.


Right now, should be the time where I go ALL out, work the hardest that I've worked these 2 years. 
This is the time to where I get everything down, the time where I can really make a difference to my future and this is the time to make everything that I've sacrificed or worked hard for worth it. This is so so crucial. I need the results for myself, I need it so badly. I've experienced countless of failures, obstacles and times where I feel like I have amount to nothing in life.Never once have I ever had the chance to feel like I'm capable of something big. I really wish that the A'levels can be a stepping stone, a start to more successes. I really want to be able to get out of this place, and have a new start and pursue something beyond my wildest dreams. I pray that God can empower me on this battle that's about to end real soon. 

I need to be stronger and believe that I can do this. 
It feels really scary, but I really want to make my dreams come true. 
I want to live a life worth writing for. 

And by the way, I found my new inspiration:


He is everything that I kind of hope to be. 
I  got  to chance upon his youtube dance videos and I was absolutely blown away by all of his pieces. You can tell that he puts a lot of hard work in creating all of them. And then I started finding out more about him and I'm really inspired by him. He is  such a focused and hard worker and I'm so glad it is being reflected in his career. I'll always rememeber one of the things he said in an interview: If you decided that you really want  something, you go out of your way to surround yourself with it. And that is honestly what I want to do and hope I'll have the courage to do.. 

Anyway, good luck to me for the next 3 months. I hope at the end of the year, I can proudly enter the exam halll knowing that I did everything I could, and that there's nothing left to be done.

Monday, 28 July 2014

SYTYCD Top 16 Performance

Here's the group routine

I loved the style and the music choice of this routine :) And the part where everyone danced the same moves, it was so synchronized and beautiful to watch. I also loved the colour choice of the costumes, it made the performance extra cool!

And here are the 2 mini group routines that blew me away.

Contemporary routine by Sonya Tayeh danced by Emilio, Serge, Casey, Zack, Tanisha, Brooklyn, Valerie and Emily

The emotions that the dancers portrayed were outstanding, I really felt the brokenness.. And Tanisha really stood out in this routine for me.. Her technique and her ability to dance with such emotions really make her makes her shine!! And Emilio!! Omg he totally blend with these dancers. I'm so happy I get to see this side of him in the show. 

Contemporary routine by Travis Wall danced by Ricky, Marquet, Teddy, Rudy, Jessica, Jacque, Carly and Bridget

This routine was super cool and fun to watch. It was super spectacular and the energy level was so high!! Everyone danced this so well, but Ricky stood out for me.. I guess the choreographers just love him. He was so manly and strong in this routine, I loved it :) And I'm so glad that they pulled off that crazy lift from one side to the other, Carly's so brave!!

Alright here are my favorite routines of the night

Contemporary routine by Travis Wall danced by Emilio and Bridget
This really blew me away... Emilio danced this so well.. To think that he's a hip hopper and that he started dancing really late.. He really portrayed the emotions so well and he was not overshadowed by Bridget. But Bridget's so amazing too! She could totally show off her technique in this routine, and I'm so happy she got this routine because I think it saved her from going home, and I love watching her. They were the highlight of the night for me.

Contemporary routine by Mandy Moore danced by Carly and Serge. 
To be honest, my first reaction when I saw them was... Contemporary again?! But I'm not complaining at all, cause Carly is such a great dancer, Serge is such a great partner and I love watching them doing contemporary. The turn that Carly did was so beautiful and the part where she was slowly going down onto Serge's feet made me breathless for awhile. They have such great chemistry and I hope they make it into the top 10. 

Hip hop routine by Dave Scott danced by Rudy and Tanisha
I loved this routine! They both did equally great. Tanisha's costume looked amazing, the red boots and the skin tight black suit made her look so sexy and made the dance look so great. They were totally feeling the music, and the performance, lighting and everything was so on point. 

Anyway, so Brooklyn and Marquet went home this week.. ):
I can't believe they'll be eliminating 4 dancers this week, it's so scary! I love all the dancers, and I really wonder which 4 will leave. I feel like this season is going by way too quicklyyyyyy. But so far all the performances have been so great!

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Breaking down.

This week has been particularly rough.
 I stressed myself up so badly that I even broke down in front of my teacher during a lesson.
This was definitely the first for me. I hate what I'm doing to myself. 

It's not like I'm lagging behind of everyone in terms of my results. In fact, I improved.
But it's just that fear of not being able to keep up that grade or even step it up. 
Actually, it's way more than that, it's that desire to be the best. I feel horrible, but I know that I'm very competitive and deep in my heart, I wanna be better than everyone for A'levels. 


1. I need to take things easier, to not let my mind take over and just give it my all.
2. I need to stop comparing myself with others, cause everyone is different (which will be really hard)

But I know that once I'm able to get rid of all these, I will be a much happier person.
I should just compete with myself. To simply aim to be better than my previous self, or in terms of results aim to do better than my previous exam results. To always seek growth. 

Anyway, speaking about that teacher who I broke down in front of. 
I have so much respect for her. 
I admire how she's able to make to be so organized such that she plans her day so well, allowing her to make the best use of everyday to accomplish all of her different commitments so well. She's doing what she loves and whenever there's a vacation, she flies off to a foreign land and create amazing memories. She's so independent, it's like she's able to handle so many things by herself. When she travels, she need not worry about anyone because she is alone and independent. And from there, she makes so many new friends every holiday. She's really what I aspire to be, except for the teaching part. 

Anyway, it's just another 100 days to the A'levels. 
I'm just gonna stay really focused and optimistic. 
Whatever happens, happens. I'll just do my part by making the best use of everyday, striving towards the big A's!!!!